It hurts. This week sucks. I do need him. But he is so angry and shouts really loudly if I talk. He did send a text to say sorry for it at one point but when I didn't write back he took it back.
I'm tired and I wish I could sleep. I feel really low.
I miss the amazing, wise, insightful, Godly man that N is somewhere inside.
But I also want to get out of this situation because my heart is completely broken and the only person I feel I can trust with it right now is myself.
I want to hide from him, from my mum, from work, from the girls.
I want to spend time with God and reaffirm that He thinks better of me, that He loves me. I need to feel it. Because in my head I know He does, I teach this, I believe this. But I also feel so wretched and useless and rubbish.
Psalm 119:28: My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.
Matt 11:28- Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment