July's Epiphany

This week was another major low.
I fasted and prayed and wrote. Here is what I wrote:

You cannot shout at me

You cannot ignore me

You cannot call me names

You cannot insult my character with lies

You cannot be so hateful

You cannot kick me out and say I bailed

You cannot ignore me until you've convinced yourself it's all my fault

Nothing has changed

You still react with anger first

I cannot change you

I can only change myself

I will not shout back. I will never call names or ignore you.

I will not be rude to you.

I will not "forget" because you ignore me until my heart is broken and I let it go

I will expect better

I will not take the blame for you actions

I love you unconditionally

I respect you unconditionally

That is God given and will never change.

THIS IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE