I have been writing down the names that N has called me. That seems so weird but I felt like I had to express them and get them out of my head.
Lots of them are just names but some are about who I am. I have looked at ones he calls me a lot and have been looking for the truth in them. Like selfish, self absorbed, attention seeking... I have been praying that God will make me less like those things.
I can see selfishness in me and times that I put myself first in life. The others seem so foreign to me but he says them so often.
He really thinks I am a psycho, freak, stupid, thick, weirdo. He stands by his words so I need to look at them. Am I calous, bitter, smarmy, petty and stubborn? Maybe. I'm really going to think about it...
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