So high, so low

Things got so much better!
Then so much worse...


I feel no hope. He changed, like it was all just OK, like nothing was ever wrong. I guess he just decided he was over it. He lifted the clouds and the weight went from my shoulders. I felt like I was at the other end of the tunnel and the world was so bright! We hugged, we held each other, we made love, real honest, connecting love.


No more trusting. I know now and I will not forget. At least if he physically hit me I'd have real scars to remind me forever. Of course I'm wrong, I'm often wrong, often at fault. But am I all of those things he calls me?? All I want is to be looked after. Can't I just be scooped up and taken care of. I want to be so far from this, I can't take it.


Lord God, help me not to be so selfish, to only need you and to be strong enough to focus on the hope that I have in you. I need your help. Help me to be strong to be able to give and to serve my husband. I do want that more than to get my way or to get justice. Help me to be a good wife. Help me.

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.