A week later...

We didn't talk for the week. It's getting longer every time.
On Wednesday I apologised for not believing him about the dishwasher. Ok, it doesn't make sense to me but I need to trust my husband. He didn't accept.


At some point on Friday our eyes met again and we smiled. We went back to being normal.
That's what always happens. It's glorious, like all of the clouds in the world suddenly evaporate and I can breathe again. I cried. We held each other.


But it's wrong. I am often wrong, I can be a real bit*h and sarcastic and it's mean. But this pretending everything is fine is not good for us. It feels amazing but it's not fair on the relationship. We need to address things and not repeat this up/ down cycle of mayhem.


I've been so mad at God for all of this. I am mad. But it has been through prayer, fasting and listening to God that I realised that this is abusive. And I need to choose not to be a victim. 


I need to say something!