Why?

A while ago I said I knew god could use all of this for good.
So why is it happening. Why are we still fighting? Why has this gone on until I have reached breaking point so many times?
God has definitely taught me to depend only on him. Maybe that's why?


I didn't think I'd make it back when I was at my lowest. Part of me didn't want to be alive. I thought I couldn't go on. My body was almost failing.


I HAVE to trust God.


N doesn't see that he starts the madness
Every time I say I'll wait until he does
But I give in and pretend everything is fine as soon as he even smiles, as soon as I catch the slightest glimpse that my husband is in there.
But he has to learn.


What do I do?!